Can We Normalise Going To Gigs Alone?

Helloooo,

So, I’ve wanted to rant about this before, but being someone who has only actually attended two gigs alone, I wasn’t sure I felt qualified. However, those two times created such absurd reactions that I just cannot help myself, and I hope that this will serve to be a reassurance to my readers that this actually is an acceptable thing to do with your time, and for those who do judge people for this, why?!

Last week I decided, very last minute, that I wanted to see The Vaccines at one of their two shows at The Roundhouse. I had seen the band three times before and had always intended to buy a ticket for this tour, but put it off up until I found out that they had sold out for both dates. Out of principle, I just wanted to find a ticket now for fear of massive FOMO. So, after taking to Twitter and with a few questionable people sliding into my DMs, some with clearly no intention of helping me out but rather to either badly flirt or discuss my ‘excellent’ music taste, I finally found tickets, but on the condition that I bought two. Being so last minute I knew that I would not find anyone to go with in London, and could not expect anyone from Liverpool to travel down with a couple of days notice. So, completely unphased, I sold my now extra ticket to a girl on Twitter and was excited to be going, even if on my own. 

Living in a flat of people who I know to have taken themselves to gigs, the theatre, the cinema, talks, events, and so on alone, they did not bat an eyelid that I was going alone, and why should they? It was from arriving at the venue onwards that I noticed the negative reactions start to occur.

Firstly was the girl to whom I’d sold my extra ticket to. Whereas I simply wanted to hand her the ticket, say thanks and get into the venue, she tried to begin her small talk by saying ‘oh wow you’re not on your own are you, that’d be sad’. WELL I actually am but I am certainly not going to tell you now. So, I just said ‘haha no’ and embarrassingly scurried into The Roundhouse, now with a lot more shame on my shoulders than I had intended.

It only went downhill from there, as from buying a drink, to finding my place in the crowd, to going to the loo, I received countless funny looks of pity and confusion. Even during the performances, especially the main event of The Vaccines (who were brilliant as always), the people around me still glanced over while I stood happily bopping my head and singing along, as if I was setting a flare off or flashing my boobs at the band. I just don’t get it?

If I really want to see an act and cannot find anyone to go with me, and feel comfortable enough in a crowd to go alone (which I know is a privilege and that would overwhelm some people, perhaps with bad anxiety and to those people I have the deepest sympathy) I do not see any reason why I shouldn’t go for it and enjoy myself, which I very much did. Also, though it is a coincidence that I have gotten blog content out of this night, what if I had been a reviewer with a press pass? Surely then I would have every right to be there alone and take in the show without people staring at me like I’m mad, or just a loser with no friends. 

Earlier in 2018 I saw Peace live at the O2 Forum in Kentish Town, and received similar stares of confusion as to why I was alone, more so as I was far closer to the stage and deeper into the crowd than I was for The Vaccines. Yes, handling a moshpit when you haven’t got a friend to cling onto isn’t the best, but I still managed it and had a good time regardless. So, stop looking at me and look at the lovely musicians in front of you please. 

I can’t say why this annoys me so much, but it just does not make sense to me how seeing gigs, or indeed going to any kind of entertainment alone is so frowned up and it is just assumed that you must have no friends. I wanted to see The Vaccines enough that I was happy to go on my own, and totally enjoyed myself. Other than the absence of someone to chat to between acts (trusty iPhone dealt with that pretty well), and someone to travel home with at night, I really did not miss having someone there - it does not alter the experience much at all.

I would hate to think that the kind of people who give me funny looks for being alone would hesitate and miss out on things purely because they think there is something wrong with it. In life, it’s very unlikely that there is always going to be someone with the same interests as you, and that’s okay. Go to the concert alone, and get a seat higher up if you don’t feel comfortable handling a standing area alone. Go to the art exhibition and look around without fear of people looking at you, and watch that film alone - the room is dark as hell anyway.

There is no doubt that I will find myself without a friend to go to a gig with at some point in the near future, and it will just be plain annoying if I have to deal with a bad reaction once again. I’d advise anyone considering going somewhere like this alone to go for it if you feel comfortable, it is not that much different and it it certainly adds a level of achievement to your evening when you realise that you can totally enjoy your own company without depending on others. 

I hope that in time this will become a more and more normalised practise — I don’t want to have to deal with judgey stares as I bop to ‘Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra)’.

Thanks for reading dudes,

H x