Skip to main content

Why I Withdrew My PhD Application

 Hellllooo,

I am now free from my challenging (COVID centred) masters degree and am very excited to get back into regular blogging. Remember when second year Hannah posted weekly? I would like to challenge her energy again lol.

For today’s post I wanted to do what I do best; discuss the positives and negatives of higher education. Having come to the end of four years of university, I’d like to think I’ve gotten the ‘uni experience’ to its fullest potential at this point. However, on a year off from education, I am not currently doing what I had maintained I would be only a few months ago. This next academic year was supposed to be the beginning of my three year doctorate in Theology, preferably at Manchester, delving into a feminist theology-based thesis. Instead, I have decided to postpone this for at least a year.

So, why have I done this, and why do I think it’s a big enough deal to write about? Unlike A Levels or even undergraduate degrees which are, at this point, somewhat expected for young people to undergo, a PhD is quite the opposite. However, anyone who has chatted to me about the future knows that this has been my plan for years. I have never taken a gap year and felt that if I was going to achieve something as challenging as a doctorate, I needed to do it in succession with everything else, to maintain momentum, and get the qualification as young as I could. You hear so much about how much your pay grade goes up once you have a Dr at the start of your name, and I really wanted to start a proper, well-paid career ASAP, and was definitely putting a lot of pressure on myself to make sure this was the case.

The main reason I wanted to talk about this is not just to have a self indulgent rant to myself, but rather to let my readers know that recognising signs, advice from others and general bad vibes is very important to do, and should not be ignored, which I was certainly doing for a long time. Not only were many of my friends and family concerned about my need to carry on in education with no break, but also my MA dissertation tutor. Being pretty much the only young woman I have encountered since studying theology (shocking I know), I really respect her advice and opinions. Even still, when she disclosed to me that she had taken a break between her masters and PhD and gushed over the benefits of this, I was still adamant that I could do it, and I had every intention of it. 

With a half-finished online application and a drafted research proposal milling around my iPad files for a while, then came the peak of the COVID cluster-f*ck in the UK, and reality began to hit me that my plans were not only unfeasible in the current climate (the new lack of uni resources/communication etc), but actually a terrible idea as many had warned me. I cannot thank coronavirus for many things at all, feeling that I have been stripped of my freedom and given a nice boost of anxiety, as I’m sure most of the population are also feeling. But, the force to slow down and contemplate my next steps with a new, ridiculous amount of time at home with my thoughts, made me realise that committing myself to another three years of studying would be a ridiculous idea, and probably quite damaging for my mental health too. It’s weird to think that if the virus had never happened and my state of mind never changed, where I would be now and how I’d be feeling about my choices. 

It’s easy to think that you know what’s best for you at all times, but if multiple people are giving you the same advice, I have definitely learnt that that should not be ignored. If the people in your life want the best for you and your health, your idea of the best thing for you might just be the wrong decision. Ultimately, a PhD is something I have wanted for years and still absolutely want - it feels like a necessity if I want to progress in my chosen future profession. But, not right now.

So, instead of freaking out about no longer being able to live under the pretence of student-hood anymore (which I have definitely done a bit of), I am trying to feel positive about my year of freedom - the freedom to do some life admin, like moving out and learning to drive. I have a part-time job that I enjoy and a positive group of people around me to spend the year with (COVID committing of course), and I am ultimately excited for this new, unplanned year ahead of me. 

What’s your plan for this academic year? Sticking to education or taking a well-earned break? Thoughts are always welcome through my blog Instagram account @hannahcampbellzblog. Reassure me that I’ve done the right thing so my inevitable wobble in a few months isn’t so severe haha.


Thanks for reading guys, glad to be back,

H x

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Live Review: Let’s Eat Grandma @ Heaven - 27/9/2018

Sweet and delicate Norwich duo Rosa Walton and Jenny Hollingsworth took to a sold out show in world famous gay bar Heaven in London this week, to entertain the crowd in the only way they know how to; with poise, talent, humility and grace. With a diverse crowd of ages, gender and class in London’s Embankment area, the room waited with excited anticipation - ready for a Thursday night of epic proportions. Riding high off the success of their newest offering I’m All Ears, the pair took to the stage with an air of undeniable confidence, launching straight into popular bops ‘Whitewater’ and ‘Hot Pink’. Other than a few hellos and thank yous, both Rosa and Jenny need not say anything else to the crowd, as their music completely spoke for itself. Bustling on through the set, which consisted of mostly tracks from their newest record, with only hints of older material, the girls interchanged between playing the keyboard, guitar, and even saxophone - all played brilliantly. The duo also ...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Start and Maintain Your Own Blog

In what might be the epitome of the blind leading the blind, I thought I’d take the opportunity this week to give my questionable pearls of wisdom on blog writing. I have been posting weekly for about 5 months now, so I have definitely picked up a few things, which I hope will help out someone considering starting their own blog, because I couldn’t recommend it enough. Write About Your Biggest Interests Being your blog, it makes sense that you should write about what makes you tick. There is no point in editing your interests or beliefs to tailor to a certain audience. Writing is far better when there is passion and interest behind it, so write about what you enjoy, and it will invite an audience who share a similar interest, and hopefully, this will create a community of likeminded people, all because of your passionate writing, which I think is a very cool concept. Spend Time Working On The Aesthetic  As much as the quality of your content is by far the most important thi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Saturdays at Borough Market

As of late, my life in uni is pretty unexciting, consisting of lectures, the library, and not much else. Because of this, I have found that early Saturday afternoon is my time to do something that isn’t work related, even if just for an hour or two. Living so close to the iconic Borough Market, visiting it at the weekend was a no-brainer, spending a lot of time there anyway throughout my time in London. It’s a hub of amazing food and drink, and such a great atmosphere to be amongst, to kick start a weekend. The market is mostly, but not completely, covered with a huge, industrial style roof, in which hundreds of stalls co-exist, with everything from paella, to bread, to fruit for sale. Turning each corner of the building means a new amazing smell, all so tempting that you never want to buy food from anywhere else ever again. Some of the most aesthetically pleasing stalls are definitely any of the fruit and veg stalls, displayed in a colourful and satisfying display that jus...
Post a Comment
Read more